Well things aren't going so hot here right now... my roommate and I have to move out if we can't come up with all of the rent that we owe..I should say my roommate has to come up with it all because I gave her my part and she did something unknown with it...I on the other hand need to worry about my car payment so that I dont loose that too. I need the damn thing even if it is a gas hog. Our electric is probably gonna get shut off now too.......

I have the distinct feeling that life is passing me by with nothing but excuses from as to why I cannot or will not live it.

I have the feeling that there is this greatness, this fantabulousness somewhere out there other then here. I know what that feeling means though. That is my gyspy heart telling me to roam again. I don't want to do that. That is yet another excuse. I want to go back to school. And I don't care who thinks its a bad idea. I need to go back to school to get some kind of training. I would love to be a massage therapist. But not just for animals like I want to do. But for people too. I want to do aroma therapy and crystal and colour therapy. I need to find someone to train me while I work with them doing that. I have a feeling that something like that is just around the corner. When I come upon it I must just simply remember not to exuse my way out of it. I must live my life!!! If I don't I am going to continue crawling deeper into my shell. If that happens I will end up never coming out again.

Well, been offline for awhile, dont know how long the connection will last. I really need to be able to write. I have discovered it is detrimental to my health if I don't. Been job hunting, had an interview today. I will get a call tomarrow telling me if I got the job or not. I would very much like the job I know that. So I hope I get it. I also need the money quite desperately to be able to pay for my car. Among other bills that we have fallen behind on.
Been talking to the new guy in my life just about every day. I really am falling for him. I still have moments where I miss Billy but its not so bad anymore. I am more angry with him then anything.
Things are going good in some aspects of my life. I just need them to get better. I need to get more stable. And now my oldest daughter is breaking my heart. She wants to go live with her grandparents. This really sucks but its what she wants. I hope she will be happy and do well living with them. I will miss her so much. I am having a very hard time with the fact that my two youngest are living with their father this school year. I miss them so much. Seems my kids are just rushing out of the nest. And they are so young. It really is depressing. I can't deny the youngest their father and his family. And I won't deny my oldest her wish to live with her granparents. She isn't doing well here and wants to go back to her home town. At 16 she is old enough to make that choice. And I need to be strong enough to support her decision.
Little depressed still I think, but I am coming around. Its almost SPRING!!!!! WOOT!!!